Friday, April 4, 2008

Shining Through

I am SAD. Not sad, but a little of that, too. SAD as in Seasonal Affective Disorder.

In other words, I need sunshine to thrive.

I can battle through January and February just fine. The sun is low but when we have snow, it brightens the world. It's March that's tough and April can be a killer. We have had a month of gray days, wet snow and rain. Easter bloomed sunny but bitterly cold. More gray days until finally, this Wednesday, the sun came back. Again, a cold wind made the temperature feel like in the 20s.

This week I spent a few days house-sitting my daughter's new home. She lives near a state park o so I bundled up and went over there, determined to huddle against the wind and soak in some sun. There's a beautiful rock by the water, big enough for three or four people, with a nice slope to lean against.

I lasted three minutes before the wind drove me looking for shelter. I followed the shore of the reservoir until I reached the dam. The spillway was open and the water flowing out was so wonderfully loud and fervent. I found a rock in the shelter of the dam that still got full sun and lay back on it.

I listened to the water flow hard, felt the sun soak into my skin, and felt the darkness lift.

And then I dropped my hand to rub the ear of the dog who wasn't there. I didn't need the dog to be Tasha...there's just something about sun and water that begs for a velvet ear to stroke. And it occurred to me that my desire for the sun is so much the desire for God's radiance; that my love of the rushing water is my love of the Living Water that is Jesus; and that velvet ear that was there for all those years is like the steady companionship of the Holy Spirit.

It's raining again today. But that's okay because you...dear ones, who walk this path with are my velvet ear today.


Anonymous said...

I can't imagine what it's like after 18 years. Yesterday when I got home from work the kids had the dog in the backyard, so she didn't come to greet me and I didn't like that feeling at ALL.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

That was so beautiful. Are you going to get another companion of your own?