Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Woman's Best Friend


I've got my share of phobias. Snakes top the list. I scream at brightly-colored ropes and hoses. If I see a dead snake on the path, I'll stay away for weeks.
Anything involved with taxes and the IRS makes me shake. (Ask my husband...it's true.) Tax preparation and submission is a nightmare for me, even though we have a splendid accountant.

My most inconvenient phobia is having my picture taken. I am the most unphotographic person in the world. I don't have good cheekbones, my smile shows too much gum, my eyes are saggy, I have no eyelashes.

DO NOT COMMENT AND TELL ME THIS ISN'T TRUE! I AM NOT LOOKING FOR COMPLIMENTS...I AM STATING THE TRUTH.

The problem with being an author is that publishers are always looking for a photo. I haven't gone to a studio to have one done because it will be agony. I won't photograph well and it will be a waste of money. Steve sometimes does my photos, almost invariably ending in us sniping at each other. I asked Marj to do this latest round and, though we've shot about 50, I still don't have a usable one.

We had tried photographing me after Sunday School, with a red curtain as background. I looked stark white, with too dark lipstick, red-eye, and just stiff-stiff-stiff. I changed clothes and makeup and went to her house to be photographed in front of her lovely bookshelves. My makeup was better but I still looked like someone was setting my toes on fire.

So she sicced Maddie on me.

The photos are a riot, and I don't know if I can even use them (given Maddie's glowing eyes) but clearly, they showed the real me. I needed Maddie to become who I really am, and not who I'm trying to be.

And isn't that what friends do--help you discover yourself?

NEXT UP for Cat Month--Elsi Dodge's Dolphin.

CORRECTION TO MY ENTRY ON 'BOILS.' Marj said: "If it's melanoma and you ignore it, you won't have to worry about old age spots."

8 comments:

Kay said...

Well, eyelashes or not, that is a lovely photo. I think a picture with one of your dog friends would be perfect for your publicity photo.

Accidental Poet said...

sorry, but the title for Least Photogenic Person on the planet goes to me.

that is an absolutely luminous picture of you. Makes me want to see you again.

Valerie Comer said...

The dog's glowing eye is nothing that can't be fixed in Photoshop. It would take someone with a vague idea what they were doing about five minutes--ten, tops.

Great pic! :)

Merry said...

It looks like you and Maddie just shared the funniest joke in the world. If comeraderie and joy could be photographed, I suspect it would look just like this photo. You're both gorgeous.

BTW, I also have blonde, sparse lashes...I call it my lizard look. Think about it. Lizards have no eyelashes either.

Dineen A. Miller said...

Aww, I agree, nice picture. And Valerie is right. Photoshop would fix the eyes and the ghosting on the pooch's muzzle. If you need it done, send it my way. That'd be my way of thanking you for featuring my Helly Belly. :-)

Valerie Comer said...

When I expand the photo to full size, I also see a little red-eye on you, Kathy. Also Photoshoppable :P

Janice Freeman said...

Don't you photoshop people know about Picasa, a part of google? It's free and easier to use than photoshop.

I bet Peter could get a great photo of you. One of the secrets is for youto not know the photo is being taken.

Check out my Heart Disease entry. It took 2 days to write, never an easy process for me.

Valerie Comer said...

I'm guessing that *yes*, we photoshop people have heard of picasa. But perhaps we already have photoshop and know how to use the zillions of cool tools!